Why "Hey" Doesn't Work
Generic openers get ignored because they're lazy and don't invite a response. Effective conversation starters are:
- Personalized: Reference something specific from their profile
- Open-ended: Encourage detailed responses, not yes/no answers
- Interesting: Spark curiosity or emotion
- Light: Keep it fun and positive initially
Proven Openers
Based on Their Profile
"Your hiking photo at [specific place] is incredible! What's the most memorable trail you've ever explored?"
"I see you're into [hobby]—I've been wanting to try that! Any tips for a beginner?"
"Your dog in photo #3 is adorable! What's their name and what's their favorite treat?"
Fun & Playful
"Quick: pineapple on pizza—yes or no? (This is important)."
"If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"
Questions to Avoid
- Physical appearance compliments as your first message
- "What do you do?" (can sound like an interview)
- Too personal questions early on
- Generic questions that apply to anyone
Keeping the Conversation Going
After your opener succeeds:
- Listen actively: Reference things they said in responses
- Share about yourself: Create balance in the exchange
- Ask follow-up questions: Dig deeper into topics they mention
- Know when to escalate: Suggest a call or date when rapport is high